Gossip Girl B

Dear Trapped In A Whore House

B the gossip girl — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 03:05:55 GMT

Dear Trapped In A Whore House:

Let me first let you know the smile that crossed my face at your use of the word "shag", how very Austin Powers of you. With that said you are in a pretty tuff situation with Princess Screws A Lot. I think the first thing you need to do is repeat after me, "I can not change someone else. And I can not help someone if they don't want help". Say that a take a couple deeps breaths every time you are about to smack her upside the head with a condom box. If her actions are really bothering you, obviously you are concerned, then I would say call a roommate meeting. Express your concern to her and let her know that her actions are impacting your sleep. Just because she wants to have wild and crazy headboard slamming sex, doesn't mean you have to be kept awake. Maybe she needs it explained to her how to be considerate? Now about the friends boyfriend drama, yikes. Glad I'm not in that situation. I can't believe he brought his dog to a bootie call. How funny! I feel that it's the responsibility of your frisky friends to fess up to the guys girlfriend. If she wont do it, that puts you in a tough spot. You are friends with both girls and are running the risk of having them both very upset with you. Frisky friend upset for you "ratting her out" and Guys Girlfriend Friend just because you are the messenger. Walk lightly here Trapped. This has to be your call. If it were me, I would tell Guys Girlfriend Friend, because I would want to know. Just know that the fallout from this may not be the most fun. Until then maybe buy some of those noise stopping earphone things for the next time your roommate decides to release her wild side!

Best Of Luck Escaping The Whore House,

Gossip Girl B

You Have To Help Me My Roomie Is A Nympho

B the gossip girl — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 02:53:49 GMT

Gossip Girl B,

B you have to help me. I'm trapped in an apartment with a nympho. My rommie shags anything with a pulse and I'm beginning to wonder if a pulse is even needed. This morning her grunt and groans woke me up at 4 am when I have to get up at 6 for work. After being woken up a little fur ball, we don't own pets, jumped onto my bed. It was a friend of ours boyfriends dog. I was horrified when I heard his voice and realized that she was banging one of our good friends boyfriends. What a slut! What do I do? I can't even stand to look at her. She is on this slippery slope of sex and drinking and I just can't stand it! Do I tell our Friend? HELP!!

Trapped In A Whore House

Dear Condom Illiterate

B the gossip girl — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:55:05 GMT

Dear Condom Illiterate,

Alright, let me school you in some condom knowledge. A condom “for his pleasure” is going to have little texture things at the tip, since the tip of his penis is where he feels the most sensation. A condom “for her pleasure” is going to have those little bump textures towards the base so they can stimulate the woman’s clitoris. Now they have condoms for maximum pleasure that has the bumpy textures the entire length of the condom. Did you know that you can order your condoms in bulk online. So you get to have safe sex and save a pretty penny too! Now as far as the lubes for him and her go it’s just a different type of sensation. Lubes for her typically cause a warming feeling while lubes for him cause more of tingles. So there you go, short and to the point. Any other questions let me know.

You’ve Graduated Condom School,

Gossip Girl B

Condom Drama

B the gossip girl — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 08:51:01 GMT

Dear Gossip Girl B,

After reading your post about the Trojan Vibrating Ring, and you got me thinking.....what are the differences in the condoms? There are so many to pick from! Also, what does the KY for him and Ky for her, really do? Please school me in this subject.

Thanks,

Condom Illiterate

Torn Between Two Men

B the gossip girl — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:30:18 GMT

Gossip Girl,

I write you because I can't even tell my friends, pathetic I know, that at this point I have no one to turn to but a stranger. A person behind a pen name, but my heart is breaking and being pulled is so many directions. I'm in a relationship that is awful, he's a cold and jaded man. We haven't gotten along for months, we don't laugh or smile, hell we don't even touch. The twist comes in the form of a guy who has come to me very unexpectedly. He's kind, loving, and makes me feel so special. I never thought I could feel like this towards someone again. So that leaves me stuck between two men. I'm not a cheater, the guilt I feel is almost overwhelming. So what do I do? Do I follow my heart or do I stay with my long term guy. Please help, I can't do this much longer.

Yours Truly,

Twisted

Dear Twisted

B the gossip girl — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:26:16 GMT

Twisted,

Well don't you have yourself in a stressful situation. Life is short Twisted, there is never a reason for you to settle. If you aren't happy with this long term guy, drop him. I have no doubt that you can be a strong woman and stand on your own two feet without a guy. You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer, don't sell yourself short. Now as far as this new dream boat that has waltzed into your life, what is so wrong with being cared for? if this new guy makes you happy and treats you the way a guy should, go for it! Now my advice is to drop the loser that treats you like dirt, don't go stringing either guy along. It's not fair to them and honestly it's to much stress for you. So to sound like a big fat cheese ball, follow your heart! It's not always easy, but it is always worth it! Best of luck.

Untwist Yourself Girl,

Gossip Girl B

Dear Oral Fixation:

B the gossip girl — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 01:24:58 GMT

Dear Oral Fixation,

Rest assured my little fledgling that your guy is normal. What is normal anyway? As long as he isn't building shrines in his closet or committing human sacrifices, I think he will stay firmly on the normal list. As for your concerns lets take them step by step.

1. I don't think I believe your guy pal when he says he doesn't pleasure himself. Perhaps he is simply to shy to admit that he does, or thinks you will judge him. I have never heard of a guy not masturbating at some point. So maybe just file this one under information you don't really need to know. If he wants to say he doesn't that is just fine, and maybe he really doesn't. Though I find that hard to believe. Either way, if he's having a little self loving time or if he's not he's still an okay guy.

2. No BJ, poor guy. Well this is just a chance for you to show him the wonderful world of oral pleasure. Nothing wrong with showing your partner a thing or two. Just look at it as a chance to rock his sheltered world.

3. I think your guy is a little uptight, and alcohol helps him let loose enough to get it on. I wouldn't say this is the most healthy thing. Perhaps you could just pounce on him in the middle of the day no booze involved and see what happens. I am betting he will quickly realize that sober sex is so much better then drunk sex. Give it a shot!

4. I don't think that his number of girlfriends reflects negative on his chances of being an amazing boyfriend. The poor guy had a rough go with a long time love, without doubt it shook his confidence and trust. So think of him as a hurt puppy you have to nurse back to health. As far of his lack of sexual partners, good for him for not sleeping around. Again my little sexual butterfly this is a chance for you to show him what he's been missing.

So, to recap I think you've found a good guy. Sure a little lacking in the sexual past department, but is that really a bad thing? He sounds like he has a good set of values, good for you for finding him. So cut the boy some slack.

Happy Dateing,

Gossip Girl

Ask Gossip Girl B

B the gossip girl — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 01:21:34 GMT

This is the section where you have the opportunity to ask me for advice or ask other probing questions that have been driving you crazy. Send your questions to b.gossipgirl@live.com your question will then be answered in this very section. Your personal information will not be posted, so your identity is safe with me. This give you a chance to make up a fun penname for yourself like, “Down & Out in KC” or “One Love Sick Puppy” you get the idea. I may even give a kudos to the best penname each week. I look forward to hearing from you!

I Think There Is Something Wrong With Him

B the gossip girl — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:01:51 GMT

Dear Gossip Girl B,

So, I've been seeing this boy since the fourth of July, and we are really starting to get pretty serious. (Which excites me and scares me at the same time). HOWEVER, I'm starting to get to know him right? Well, I'm finding some things out about him and I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to react to them. I'm not sure if they are normal or not. Now keep in mind, this boy is gorgeous, super sweet to me, witty, and all that falls in between he just has a few odd quirks to him.

For example:

1. He doesn't masturbate. I was flabbergasted! I was shocked! My jaw literally fell open for quite some time before i realized i was making a scene. What man doesn't do that? I guess his sex drive isn't as full fledged as mine? Should this make me worry, or give me relief because that's a good sign that he won't cheat?

2. He's never had a blow job (or what i like to call a blow joy, because its definitely not a job) before. So of course i obliged and gave him his first of many. I'm trying to broaden his horizons a bit, and he seems to really enjoy it. I just couldn't believe all the girls he's been with never went down on him. Its high up there on my top things i enjoy doing with my mouth, besides eating, talking, and blowing bubbles of course.

3. He told me that usually when he has sex, he's been drinking. NO SEX WHEN YOU'RE SOBER? WHAT! I didn't know how to take this one exactly. We talked about this after a long sack session one weekend after we drank all night. I was offended at first, asked him if i wasn't attractive enough. He reassured me that it wasn't it, but that after a night of going out with whatever girl he was with at the time, sex was involved, and that it never happened when he was sober because he didn't know how to initiate it. Sigh.

4. He's only slept with four people, while i have slept with.. well lets just say its more than four and I'm five years younger than him. However, he was with a girl for four years and she cheated on him and that was the end of that i guess, but i wasn't sure if that its weird that he's only been with four people. I was feeling more, how do you say, safe, because of his small number as far as diseases go, but i didn't know how to react. Is he not boyfriend material? Is he afraid of commitment? Or was he just with everyone for more than one year?

He's an amazing guy, but i don't know how to handle these situations that keep coming me way. The sex with him is wonderful, and so is the emotional connection, i don't want to lose him. I just need some friendly advice.

Yours truly,

Oral fixation