Dear Santa, I Have Some Thoughts

Dear Santa,

It’s me Gossip Girl B, and I have tried to be a very good girl this year. I am not sure if I belong on the naughty or nice list, but I figured I would shoot you and e-mail with what I would like for Christmas this year. I trust that your judgment will find that even the few items that landed my name on the naughty list aren’t really so so bad. I really was half asleep when I tweezed outside of my brow line, that is not a naughty deed I would commit if I was not exhausted. I also now know that drinking champagne and tequila in one night turn me into an evil yeti. So please excuse these few tiny laps into the dark side. With that said the following is what I would really love to have this year for Christmas. Thanks in advance.

1. Mermaid hair, no I don’t want an Ariel doll, I’d like to have long flowing hair that just curls effortlessly and beautifully. If you have a magic Cinnamon Stick Wand you could wave to make my hair grow that would be ideal, but I would also except hair extensions.

 2. I would like a man who listens, honest to goodness listens. I figure with a man that listens a chunk of other relationship problems will be resolved. Now if the good listener could come in Matthew McConaughey’s rock hard bod, that would be super.

3. This is an item that I always put on my list as a girl, that perhaps you didn’t see. Maybe it was a clerical error that one of the elves made. This year could I please have a pony. A pink one with little green shamrocks on it. Oh and since I’ve been waiting so long for it could you make it sparkly?

4. World peace, yes, I know that lots of people ask for this. It’s not very creative, but come on Big Guy, can’t we work something out? Can we maybe banish all weapons and people can battle with flowers and bubbles? How hurt can someone get getting smacked with a dandelion or running through a field laced with bubbles. Probably not bad at all. Worse case scenario people get yellow stains from the dandelion or catch a bubble to the eye.

5. Lastly could I please get an internet speed that didn’t run at a snails pace. I have tried every provider, and they all stink. I figured maybe you could hook me up to your internet speed. After all, with all the e-mails you get, you must have a fast connection. Really you would be helping so much, it’s hard to send chapters to my editor and post articles when my internet has a slow mind of it’s own.

Sincerely,

Gossip Girl B